when "no" is actually a "yes"

For me, saying yes is a key component to living the most adventurous, fulfilling, rewarding and pleasurable life possible. Saying yes can open new doors, introduce you to amazing people and gift you with memories to keep you smiling well into the final days of life. If you've been following my blog at all, you probably already know this about me :) But what I've come to realize in the past few weeks is that sometimes, saying "no" is not only completely necessary...but also a "yes" in disguise.  Allow me to explain...

I've seen it a hundred times with myself and my friends--we find ourselves in a situation, most often a relationship of some kind (romantic, platonic or professional) where we seem to be stuck in a cycle; riding a roller coaster of emotions, putting ourselves through repeatitive disappointments in the hope that each effort will yield a different result. We can't help it--we are creatures of hope and love. Why wouldn't we fight for a positive outcome whenever possible? Didn't Andy Dufresne teach us "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.."?

This weekend I managed to muster the strength to finally say no to a relationship that was no longer on a path I desired. To be blunt--it was a very difficult choice. And it stung. A lot. The ol' ego is still nursing her bruises. But I was feeling exhausted and drained from months of unrequited efforts and I decided it was time to be good to myself.  It was time to say no.

I believe that by saying no, I will not continue to positively reinforce this behavior we are actually giving ourselves an answer of yes.  While the person on the receiving end may be feeling the vibes of no, your own internal vibrations are flowing at a frequency that says hey, I acknowledge that I deserve way better...YES I am worthy of more.  Yes, I am enough.  Yes, I am stronger than I know.

I changed my view on saying no in this situation and I deeply believe that it has opened me up to receive someone more aligned with me. (Did I mention it still kinda stings?) I believe that it was the right choice simply because it was a choice made out of love and kindness--both for the other person and for myself.  That's a key piece; love and kindness for myself. Perception and perspective, my dear readers.  Change your perspective--change your life.

Just as I was beginning to write this post I received notification from a fabulous author, motivational speaker and life coach named Gabrielle Bernstein on her latest book, Spirit Junkie, that confirmed precisely my thoughts.  I love this short little video-teaser and cannot wait to read her latest work...

Wishing you all the strength to say YES, even if it may come in the form of "no".

In Gratitude,

Trish