​Dear Ones,
​
There is a simple coaching tool offered to clients, as designed and taught by CTI (the program I attended), called The Wheel of Life. You may have walked through this process with me, depending on our dynamic! In the exercise, we take an assessment of satisfaction, ranking 1-10, in eight significant areas of overall life. It’s a snapshot to help us dive deeper into the balance of wholeness, and a reliable way to get some conversation flowing.

One piece of the wheel I’ve been thinking about more lately is Physical Environment. This can be explored on a larger, take the leap, kind of scale through examining the cities, communities, states, even countries we live in. And it can also be narrowed in on, focusing on the physical structures we eat, sleep, work, dwell most often within. Asking: How does this place or space reflect how I wish to feel on the inside? How does it inspire me, or help me live in greater alignment with my values? What feels missing? What feels really good?

As someone who has chosen to adhere to a mainly home-based life in the past year (per health guidelines I trust most), I don’t think I have ever let myself envision what our house energy could be with some serious design thought to this extent before. Plus, ya know, pregnancy and nesting are VERY real vibes. This morning I turned to my husband and said something along the lines of OK, that’s it, no more slow growing into this space. I need changes, refreshes, new organizing. We are stagnant. I believe this can help. (And I need them before baby #2 arrives so LET'S GO BIG DADDY!).. .We made a list together of the heavy lifting he’ll need to do, borrowing pieces from one room to loan to another. I took some furniture pics for marketplace selling of things that no longer serve or feel in frequency with our vision. I finally ordered a few frames and prints I’ve been dragging my feet on for gosh knows what reason. And I purchased a handful of tools to help me get organized - ultimately, a gift to my mental health from current self to future self.

Which pretty perfectly brings me to our next client spotlight segment! I am happy to share with you the mission of  SortJoy. CEO Stefani is a delightful young woman I had the pleasure of working with in an official coaching capacity, and whom I also consider a friend.


In her own words:

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That middle of the path pause, deep breath with hands clasped by her heart, seizes my spirit each time I see it.

“Moon” is a favorite word of hers. So is “nakie”, which she just started asking for this week, and which we oblige each evening for a few minutes pre-bath. Her soft little body running wild through the house, Ivy always by her side, trying to sneak a lick of freshly exposed sweet baby skin. She squeals with delight and the pleasure of ultimate freedom, making us laugh harder when she stops at the fireplace to say “butt! hot!". We howl out the window into the dark. We marvel at the birds visiting our deck feeder. We clap for the squirrels who leap along the fence at Auntie’s house; tiny, fluff tailed acrobats performing through all seasons.

I wonder how her development will be different, growing from baby to child during this time of predominant isolation.

I wonder if she’ll have a harder time connecting with other kids, as play dates are still mostly an unknown concept (outside of the absolute blessings that are my niece and nephew). 

I wonder how my mothering would be different…better…if I were able to safely show her more of the world’s treasures; how I’d show up for her, if I still owned the ability to fill my emotional tank outside of a family pod, with time spent in the nourishing company of good friends and autonomous adventure.

I wonder how our modeling of partnership might speak more clearly to our true, shared values, without the additional stressors of all things stemming from a pandemic. How our attention, affections, appreciations would flow more freely and organically. How she would witness more thriving romance and less survival companionship.

But there is that middle of the path pause. There are the “wows” she whispers when approaching a tree. There are the toddler gifts of a leaf, a rock, or a stick, which are given with wide eyes and a smirk of pride at her discovery. 

There is the wonder and the wild we must be managing to encourage, regardless. And I’m proud of that. Even as I wonder, I am hopeful, for there is much magic yet to be revealed. It seizes my spirit each time I imagine this for her.

In Gratitude,

Trish

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1. Flavored coffees + teas, inside of cute/funny/pretty mugs. I will never not adore a cleverly dressed cup of something warm and tasty! Mugs are one of my favorite gifts to receive. I'd fill all my cupboards with them if Bran would allow it! The trick is to pay attention to each step in the beverage creation process. It's a lovely mindfulness practice: Make it a sacred ceremony. Engage all our senses. Don’t rush. Enjoy.

2. Bundled evening walks with Ivy. (we’ll see how long this one actually lasts). She helps me fill my lungs with fresh air after hours spent indoors, reminds me to move, and allow the starlit sky to put things into perspective. Sometimes the cold hitting my face on the first step outside feels precisely as deliciously jarring as a jump into the freezing ocean on a hot day: A necessary plunge to awaken the cells from a state of stagnation. Bam! You’re alive. Feel that?

3. Baking pastries, eating one (two, probably three) and then delivering the rest to the doorsteps of loved ones. This fills the house with heavenly scents but keeps the tummy-turning excess away. 

4. Candles, candles, candles. Most of them flameless. I’m sensitive to smells, so other than a select few I keep in the rotation, I prefer the look of flickering light over the too-strong smell so many exude.

5. Winter movies. Vibes like “Tumbledown”, “Bridget Jones” , “Serendipity” , “Groundhog Day” (eek, is this too close to pandemic-home now?), “New In Town”, “While You Were Sleeping”, “Grumpy Old Men” , “Miracle”, “When Harry Met Sally” ...we’re keeping it light under the weight of winter, ya know?

6. Lotion all over my bodacious, pregnant bod post-shower or bath, followed by extra TLC on the ol’ tootsies via snuggle socks. I love to soak in a tub so hot that it almost burns off a layer of my skin (<--exaggeration. but yea I like it real hot). I’ve been told I shouldn’t do this while pregnant, but Saylor turned out beautifully and still adores bathing with her mama, so I’m not so worried about accidentally boiling this babe, either.

7. Stretching in a warm, sunny living room will hopefully help thaw my limbs and heart. Pregnancy stretches is a more accurate description, as there will be minimal feats of strength. Did you know a woman with child over the age of 35 (hi, me!) is clinically labeled a “geriatric pregnancy”? Yea, well, this Golden Girl is greasing her joints to prevent any hip breaks. 

8. Read and read and read and read. Read in bed with a diffuser full of essential oils humming beside me. Read on the couch covered in layers of blankets and Ivy’s head on my lap. Read in front of the fireplace, with my daily allotment of caffeine. Read my magazines delivered for free, thanks to a seemingly never ending amount of expiring United Miles Brandon has, that need to be cashed in for random magazines or lost into the mileage abyss. Read outloud to Brandon, since he falls asleep trying to read on his own. Story time is such a happy time for me. I am in need of recommendations, always. Whaddya got for me?

9. Crockpot meals once or twice a week. Makes dining in daily feel homey and nourishing, and the leftovers keep so well.​ I have started prepping most dinners by 11am, acknowledging that by 4 o’clock I am super spent and zapped of my will to cook. As I tell my clients daily: no shame in figuring out your own rhythms and tools to set yourself up for the most success possible. 

10. Coloring! I say this without a trace of humor: I have been wayyyyy ahead of the zen coloring movement for YEARS. Kicking myself for not capitalizing on my stress soothing go-to back in the early 2000’s. This season I’ll be filling out a coloring book of postcards, then sending them off to people I love, miss, just wanna say HI to. Let me know if ya want one. No form of connection is too small these days!

11. Music playing from morning until night. Lean into your vibe that day. We’ve been rotating the likes of: both quarantine Taylor albums, Bon Iver, Chris Stapleton, Maggie Rogers, Leon Bridges or Bonnie Raitt Pandora stations, Fleetwood Mac, and Frozen I&II soundtracks, which make me want to gouge my eardrums out from over-listening, but damn does it make Saylor so freaking happy to hear. ElsaAnnaOlafSven (as Say calls you all at once), you haunt me.​  

12. Light therapy for a few minutes each day. Snagged a lamp on Amazon, nothing fancy, just your basic UV-Free version. I'm experimenting with keeping it on my desk during client sessions, or perhaps moving it to my nightstand to help me rise from winter slumber with a bit more ease. Again, no shame in inviting in whatever tools may be available to aid us on our wellness journeys.

Winter will continue to unfold for many weeks (I repeat: ohgodwhy). I would LOVE your thoughts on Hygge in general, and especially any ideas or suggestions of what to add to this list! I will also pop back on to update as I trial/error/pivot my own efforts. 

Grace & Peace,

Trish
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Dear Ones,

Per usual, I am several weeks behind the official start of a new calendar year with my letter to you all. Blame it on any number of things - pandemic fatigue, motherhood, pregnancy, winter blues. It’s all truth, yet here we are! Surviving, occasionally thriving, and always marinating on topics of the heart, mind, and soul.

Let’s dive right into the good stuff. Here’s where I landed with my Word/Intention for 2021 (resolutions rarely work, y’all. get on the intentions train):

Release (verb): "allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free”

Set free. Oofda.
Release many (most?) expectations for this year.
Release any hard-set visions of how the arrival of baby #2 will/should go.
Release the need to prove, perform, or please others in order to be “liked”.
Release martyrdom in motherhood.
Release the false notion of needing to control the family ship full time in order to avoid hurts.
Release the long held stories that only serve to limit me.
Release and be free to create imperfectly.

This may sound a bit like I’m giving up a lot from a space of defeat, but that is not how it feels to me. Rather, that I am practicing setting free the fears wrapped around what might be, in order to dwell, thrive, be curious within and about what is. There is so much more breathing room in releasing. There is so much glorious possibility.

My daughter was watching a new episode of Sesame Street the other day, and I was struck by a little jingle they sang throughout the show. Essentially, as the cute, furry monsters were faced with various tasks or opportunities for problem solving or creating, they’d say:

I wonder…
What if…
Let’s try!…

At what age do we stop being encouraged to approach our lives, goals, feelings from that space of open curiosity? When does out-the-gate perfection override the natural journey of learning? I don’t know, but I am (as all good Bravo housewives say) OVER IT. It is utterly organic for us to wonder, try, fail, learn, succeed. It is the absolute natural way. Consider what would be possible if the alternative patterns of thinking/doing (or not doing) were released…

To commit more vulnerably to my work, I’ve signed up to join thousands of other creators embarking on a journey with our crafts for 100 days, courtesy of the official #the100dayproject !! I’m looking forward to writing everyday, and sharing as much as possible on IG, in coaching letters, and on my good ol’ faithful blog (such a loyal friend, however deeply neglected)...

Even with baby boy arriving in this time frame, I feel pulled to honor my passion for coaching AND writing simultaneously. I want to show my daughter, especially, the value in exercising our spirits in these ways. I paid the $70 for all the prompts and support, since money is a big accountability partner for me. Dollars well spent, I’d say.

If there are any ideas, questions, topics you might be interested in reading about from my (coaching, mothering, partnering, sisterhooding, activist, laughably flawed but onward-ing, grateful life-ing) perspective ... I AM ALL EARS.

​Cheers to Release,
Trish