While waiting for a late-night work happy hour to start yesterday I realized something...

....I'm really good at blowing bubbles.

I can even split them!

That is all.  Have amazing weekends ;)


Love and light,

Trish

Perspective Smack Scenario 1: Yesterday as I was walking to my wellness coaching session with T I began to run down the list of topics I wanted to discuss with her.  It's about a 20 minute walk from my office to hers, so I usually take this time to get my head prepped to dig deep into whatever is on my mind that week.  This preparation sometimes leads down a silly and whiny internal road.  Ugh, just WAIT til T hears what so-and-so said to me...or...I still can't believe I'm dealing with this right now, I can't wait to fill her in.  After a few blocks I glanced up mid-mental complaint to see a young man, maybe early 20's, walking with a friend towards me. They were laughing and smiling. Now, I use the following description as merely that--a description to paint a mental picture.  In no way am I trying to judge or express pity; I see no value in either.  It was visibly apparent that this young man had either been born with an extreme facial deformity or had something quite terrible happen to him (e.g. car crash, animal attack, etc) that had required intense reconstructive surgery.  To be frank, he looked a bit cartoonish and it was a startling site at first glance.

Talk about a perspective smack.  Immediately my heart leapt out to him (not that it needed to, he clearly was enjoying his friends company as they strolled down the street and I know nothing about his life to make any assumptions). But as my heart leapt out to him my head instantly scolded me for letting myself drive down that silly, whiny road.  There are times when I feel it's difficult to face the day--times when you just don't feel like dealing with anyone.  I feel confident in saying we have all been there at some point.  But all of my (for lack of a better word) "issues" are very much internal.  That is to say, it's not impossible for me slap on a smile and carry on with my life, leaving all outsiders oblivious to what I may be mulling over inside. Can you imagine dealing with every day stresses combined with a physical deformity or ailment ? One that is so clearly...well...out there, for all to see? How brave one must be to face the day, every day. To move forward regardless of quite obviously not fitting into a social norm (freaking social norms--who sets these, anyways?!).

Pardon my language, but holy shit I'm a fortunate son of a bitch to have my health. I may not look like a magazine beauty, but I'm also fortunate to not have to make peace with any true deformities or injuries or superficial ailments.

Perspective smack received, Universe.

Perspective Smack Scenario 2:  There are no washers or dryers in my apartment building, which means whenever it's time to do laundry I either have to trek to the laundro-mat down the street (called The Missing Sock, so cute, right?) or beg one of my friends to let me hang out on their couch while I bogart their buildings machines (you're cool with back to back episodes of Golden Girls while I eat your cereal, right?).  About a month ago I was doing laundry at a gal pals building only to discover the next day that several articles of clothing had gone missing.  My favorite pair of lululemon pants...noooo! A shirt that completes one of my Jennifer-Aniston-would-so-wear-this outfits....say it isn't so! The best tank tops to layer with...waaa, I want them back! Someone had made a fashion killing off my loads. Total bummer.

My first reaction was to look at my friend and say "what the f*ck!".  Then, miraculously, I was able to let it go.  My friend felt terrible--she began offering to replace all of the missing pieces, apologizing left, right and upside down.  Girl, I said, this isn't your fault! And besides...they are just *things*. They have no real value in my life. I'll think of it as clearing out the old to make room for the new. I'm lucky to have a closet full of other things to wear!

I have so many articles of clothing that weeks later I'm still *just* realizing certain pieces are missing.  Today, for example, I went to reach for a cool dress I like to match with my cowgirl boots and brown wrap belt only to see that it had been one of the laundry caper victims.  A month later and I'm really just realizing this? Sheesh. Is it annoying and a bit disappointing? Yes, of course. Is it frustrating to know someone rifled through my stuff and snagged things that belonged to me?  Yep, not so fun.  But is it the end of the world or grounds for major depression? Absolutely not. Reality check: there are people in this world struggling to keep a single shirt on their backs.  I can more than survive minus a few pairs of pants.

I have to admit--choosing to take a deep breath and let it go was an amazing feeling. What else was there to do? I couldn't get the clothing back. Wallowing in anger or sadness would only serve to rot my insides.  Letting it go freed me of negativity and set the vibes for forgiveness and acceptance...two of the most powerful forces out there.

What perspective smacks have you received lately?


In Gratitude,

Trish

Sometimes when I think about all of the things I'd like to accomplish in my lifetime--the places I desperately want to visit, the career paths I'd like to try (and succeed in!), the goals I set and hopes I have--I end up keeping myself up at night trying to figure out the fastest way to bring it all to fruition.  There's not enough time!, I'll think.  Where will you even start? Do you have to get another degree for that? Can you survive if this idea ends up failing? How can so and so make it look so easy?! Will anyone even be interested in what you're doing/saying? What is most important to accomplish? Is it possible to balance it all? Can you be satisfied...ever? I wouldn't say I stay up *stressing*, per say, but I certainly have spent many a late night hour scheming and plotting and planning myself into mental exhaustion.

Confession: having patience with myself has never been my strong suit. I am truly a child of the instant gratification generation; I want it all and I want it as quickly as possible. I want answers. I want results. I want rewards for my efforts. I want things to have meanings I can understand. What do you mean this scenario *is* simply because it just...*is*? Unacceptable! Just as my wellness coach pointed out, I'm not the greatest at trusting the process. I usually consider the unknown my nemesis (man I can be terrified of him) when really I should be embracing it as a friend; accepting it, leaning into it, learning to let go and flow in it.

The other morning as I was getting ready for work after a somewhat restless sleep (filled with mental list making and scheming), I untangled a necklace that was given to me as a Christmas present a little while back. I thought I'd lost the piece (sorry, Kell!! mega friend fail :-/ at least I found it?) and was delighted to see it had been hiding in my makeup bag all along. I was also delighted to re-receive it's message.

My dear friend gifted me this incredibly thoughtful compass necklace during a time of pretty huge changes in my life. A time when I'm sure many of our phone calls or gchat catch ups centered around my swirlings of what am I supposed to do now? Where should I go from here? I've made a huge mess of things and now I don't know what to do to move forward.  It's no wonder she felt the need to send me a little guidance.

Second confession: For a solid 3 year period I felt pretty paralyzed with fear. I made all of my decisions out of fear. I let fear be my guide...which, let me tell you, is a terrible decision. Fear can be a great motivator for sure, I won't deny that.  But it can also make you feel even more lost if you let it dominate your every move.  Fear often causes a complete lack of true action (i.e. action most true to *you*) and leaves all of your dreams, hopes and goals stuck in an endless cycle of "but it's not happening fast enough! Will it ever happen at all??! I don't think I can do this...".

When I glance down at this necklace that rests just beside my heart (seriously, could it be any more symbolic?) I am reminded there are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.  Sometimes, you have to take the long road; the long, high, rocky, bumpy road.  I am reminded that my internal compass is all I need to guide me into whatever life path I desire. Faith, love, gratitude and kindness. These are my north, south, east and west. When I trust in them, fully embody them, it's impossible to be lead down any path that won't serve me in the end.

I am loving my life right now, even the imperfections. Taking a daily dose of patience (dang that pill can be hard to swallow) with a side of faith, love, gratitude and kindness is proving to yield me joyous life results. I am stoked to see what else I can accomplish with these by my side.

Sending you all good thoughts that you have the courage to listen to your internal compass, to have patience with yourselves and the willingness to make the unknown your buddy :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

I'm finding it uplifting to pay closer attention to all of the many "little things" that bring me joy on a daily basis.  Not taking these for granted has forced me to be more present and grateful, more aware of just how fortunate I am pretty much from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep again.

Little things I'm liking right now:

The burrata burger from Tony's, one of the best Italian restaurants in the city. I know, I know...who orders a burger at an Italian place? Answer: when it's this delicious, ME.

My do-it-yourself pedicure. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty impressed with my skills. Plus, you can't beat the price...(hint; zero monies!)....

Morning walks. Exercise + stellar views + fresh sea air = winning.

Snoring puppies.  Turn up the volume and melt a little :)

What little things bring you joy?

In Gratitude,

Trish

My boss is funny. On Friday I showed him the project you'll see below that I referred to as "shabby-chic'ing" and subsequently had to explain what "shabby chic" was all about.  The conversation then moved onto weekend plans, where I confessed I didn't really have anything going on, especially compared to his laundry list of fun things on the agenda.  

His reply? "Oh. I don't know what to say. Maybe you can shammyshake some more stuff!" 

Giggles galore :)

My successful shammyshake craft:

It's official--I have the craft bug.  One of my favorite co-workers recently said to me "creativity needs to be cultivated and shared" and I couldn't agree more. Crafting this new apartment accessory was soothing, bonding and rewarding (and it only cost about $30 total). Stay tuned to see what's next on my shammyshake agenda...(I think you're gonna love it!!)....

Happy Monday! Cheers to the start of a great week and the sharing of creativity :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

Yesterday I wrote about my Tahoe reflections centering around the occasionally elusive art of forgiveness.  Today, I began a new chapter in my book (The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life) titled "Forgiveness".  Ah, Universe.  You get me everytime.

As a bit of Friday Food For Thought I wanted to share a snip-it of the chapter with you.  So far this book is amazing; simply and beautifully written, this practical and entirely un-preachy guide is deeply resonating with me.  I'm only on chapter 3 and already have had about 17 Oprah "A Ha!" moments and 28 SMH (shakin ma head) reactions combined with classic public mumbles of "ugh, that is SO true!" (lady on the bus, sorry for startling you with my last UGH!).

On forgiveness Piero Ferrucci writes;

"We do not even need to see forgiveness as the absence of resentment--an emotionally neutral void. Nor as the release of tension, like relaxing a muscle after tensing it for some time.  Rather, forgiveness is a positive quality. It contains joy and faith in others, generosity of spirit. Illogical and surprising, sometimes sublime, it frees us from the ancient chains of resentment. Whoever forgives, feels uplifted...

...Do we need to explain why the capacity to forgive is inherent in kindness? Maybe it is obvious, but let us say it anyway. We cannot be kind while we carry the weight of our resentments. Nor while we remain too rigid to ask for forgiveness. Nor if our emotions are colored by guilt or vindictiveness.

We can be kind only if the past no longer dominates us."

Do you think it's OK just to bring this chapter into my next session with T and say "This. This is what I'm striving for"?

Sending you all good thoughts for wonderful weekends!

In Gratitude,

Trish

Before the girls and I left on Friday evening for our Tahoe trip I had a session with my therapist/wellness coach (who we will call just T, for privacy purposes).  Now, I should probably start off by saying that in no way, shape or form am I embarrassed to admit I talk to a therapist 2-4 times a month. I'd shout it proudly from a rooftop just to prove it! For me it's always seemed like c'mon, do I really need to be convinced to sit with someone completely unbiased for an hour a week to help walk me through past, present and future pieces of my life? Someone who is trained to guide me into new, positive, loving perspectives? Someone who I can be crude and teary or sassy and bitchy or calm and reflective with without fear of judgment? Frankly, I think it takes courage to say hey, I'm not living my life in a way that feels most true to me...and I don't know how to get back to her...to recognize you're maybe struggling to make sense of certain things or even to admit you feel a little lost as to what the next best steps forward should be. In short--if you feel like you have to have extreme "issues" or must be "crazy" to see a therapist...then (no offense) you probably are little bit crazy with some issues.  To have a safe space for uninhibited, intense honesty and freedom from fears is such a profound and beneficial thing for me.  Therapy and wellness coaching, my friends, is awesome :)

After a particularly long rant (did I even pause to take a breath?) where T pointed out I was taking on an awful lot of responsibility for my role in a particular life scenario, she gave me "homework" for my peaceful beach time.  She said to me, "you need to reflect this weekend. Ask yourself--what's it going to take? What is it going to take to forgive yourself?".

Have you ever been in this place? The space of replaying scenes over and over again in your head, wishing you had done this or that differently, behaved a certain way or said what you felt more eloquently?  A place that feels like if you had just handled something "better" or chose another thought, action, path then the result would be one you could feel happy with? This is where most of my unforgiveness lies.  This is where it dwells, like a bumpy toad, in my gut.  And since unforgiveness centers around things that happened in the past (years, months, weeks, hours ago)--things that are over and completely out of my control now--I essentially have to decide to either forgive myself and others outright, or to live the rest of my life feeding this bumpy toad in my gut.  He is hideous and weighs me down. He negatively affects my present life. He influences my choices, thoughts and feelings. I want him OUT.

So, after meditating over T's proposed question for a few hours, I came up with this ground breaking answer to share with her at my next session:  I'm not sure.

The thing about therapy and life coaching is this; they are not immediate cure alls.  Most of the work has to be done outside of the office--on your own time, at your own pace.  If there was a magic switch I could flip to fast forward to a time when "everything is OK" I probably would have hit that sucker years ago.  Take this pill and everything becomes shiny and new?  Get me a glass of water, stat!! But then I'd be fast forwarding my life. I'd be missing opportunities to learn and grow.  And wishing your life away to avoid discomfort is about as foolish a thought as any.  It wouldn't truly be living. 

I have a few more days before I meet with T again; a few more chances to meditate and stew and mull over.  It's OK if nothing  on the level of epiphany strikes me.  The proposed question at least has me thinking a bit differently--it's got me slowly releasing negative thoughts. It's letting me, at snail speed, begin to feel allowed to say "I forgive" and let go.  And that is something to be thankful for.

Watch out, toad.  T and I are coming for you.

In Gratitude,

Trish


ps-  If anyone has questions about my experiences with therapy and wellness coaching, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I have been so fortunate to work with people who have changed my life in beautiful ways--it is a pleasure to speak openly about it. I would be happy to give you my humble opinions and suggestions :)

 

when I hung out with baby tigers because it was on my Life List? Dream.Come.True. 

"Destiny is not a matter of chance;
it is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for;
but, rather something to be achieved." -William Jennings Bryan

Make a Life List--and make it happen :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

You like what I did there? Tahoe trip with my homies = Tahomies? Dang, I'm clever.

Like a big dope I forgot my fancy schmancy camera, womp womp...so iPhone pics will just have to do the job!

Thanks to an incredibly thoughtful and generous birthday gift of 100 Amazon monies with specific instructions as to what to put it towards I was able to snag something I've been debating on purchasing for months....

I've got some reflections to share (post coming tomorrow!) about this great mini vacation, but for now I wanted to at least share some snapshots of how incredibly beautiful Lake Tahoe is (in case you doubted?). 

Happy Monday! Hope you all have a super start to your weeks :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

Sometimes after a long day it's hard to get motivated to cook dinner for one, especially when you really just feel like curling into a ball on the couch while watching crappy reality TV.  When this happens (once a week?), I usually whip out my 3 step go-to recipe for lazy single gals:

Step One: Remove carton of Trader Joe's Vegan ice cream from freezer. 

Step Two:  Scoop into bowl and marvel at the creamy, chocolaty goodness. How can this taste so good and be made without the gloriousness that is dairy?

Step Three: Savor each bite. Feel grateful. Ignore guilt.

Voila!  Easy peasy and super yummo :)

I'm heading to Lake Tahoe this weekend with some gal pals--pretty stoked about this as I've never been in the summer!  Looking forward to taking in the beautiful sights and sharing some photos with you all on Monday.

Happy Friday!

Love and Light,

Trish

Oh. My. Gosh, right?  Pacific Puffs = best desserts in the entire city. State? Country? Every time I eat here I find myself drooling the second I walk in the door and regretting not ordering a dozen more as I'm walking out.  I love the story of this sweet shop; 2 brothers paying homage to their mom's perfect puff recipe.  What could be cuter?

In the words of Rachel Zoe, "I die."

In Gratitude,

Trish

I'm pretty sure no human has ever moved into a new apartment more slowly than I have over the past 6 months. I think my feet-dragging can mostly be blamed on the fact that in 5 years I've lived in 5 different homes and frankly, I'm tired of moving.  I'm tired of re-selling or donating furniture that can't be transitioned and thus having to spend all sorts of monies on new pieces (I've put the Ikea family through college at this point). I'm tired of hanging and rehanging decorations, photos and knick-knacks.  I'm annoyed at the idea of someday having to take it all down.

But, I fully recognize the longer I delay making my new digs a true "home" the longer I also delay the welcoming of new friends, opportunities and even potential new partners.  I'm essentially telling the Universe I'm not ready to accept where I am in life--to settle in and be full present in this place. Working on my home is directly aligned with working on myself and I don't want to delay that any longer.

So in the past month I finally sucked it up and bought a new couch (a sofa bed, welcome future guests!), some ottomans, and a few decorative pieces. I've made a list of items/furniture to pick up over the next few weeks and I've started to develop some cool ideas for making my apartment both a magnet for positive energy as well as a source of comfort, love and gratitude for myself as well as anyone who may spend time here (come and visit me!). If all goes according to plan (and even if it doesn't, hey, we gotta be flexible) the good juju will be flowing in no time!

I've placed fresh lavender from the Ferry Building Farmer's Market on my kitchen table as well as in my sitting nook--it's the culinary kind, so not only does it look and smell great but it also can be used in my teas! I feel that gifting yourself fresh flowers, especially as a woman, is a great way to instantly brighten the home and your spirits.  I've also got an arts and crafts night planned for next Monday with some pals where I'll be working on some homie projects that hopefully turn out as fabulously as they look in my head :)  I'm excited to document the process and share with all of you my suggestions.

If you have any tips on cool ways to decorate/feng shui/pull in the good vibes to a new home, I'd love to hear them.  I will take all the help I can get :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

Summer in San Francisco (and I use the term "summer" loosely...it's not even 60 outside today!) is filled with lots of fun and free outdoors activities.  One of my favorites is the Stern Grove Festival that takes place every Sunday for 8 weeks at Stern Grove Park.  Guests can enjoy free entertainment while picnicking amongst the gorgeous and deliciously smelling Redwoods.  Wine and cheese + good friends + fun music + fresh nature all around = Sunday, you rock.

We'll be going again in a few weeks to see the SF Symphony and then the ballet...what an awesome way to experience the arts!  My wallet in particular approves :)

In Gratitude,

Trish

On Friday I woke up in a funk.  So, I posted my blog about my awesome new l.o.v.e ring and felt better....but not for too long.  To help release any lingering funk I let a few tears fall as I was getting ready for work (have I mentioned I'm a crier?).  Then I looked myself in the mirror and said, out loud, really? these guys again? Patricia Louise, you are better than this. you are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for. I love you hunny but let's choose to move forward joyously, OK? (anyone who knows me knows that the whole talking to yourself in a mirror thing is genuinely something I would do/have done).  Then I wiped away my tears, popped in my iPod and trotted towards the bus.

Then, in it's ever so perfect timing, the Universe sent me an awesome surprise.  My friend Kim (who is so pretty that she is in my phone contacts under the name Kim Pretty) recently got her pilot's license after almost a year of dedicated training (woohoo! go Kim! maybe she should be in my contacts as Bad Ass Kim Pretty). During my birthday dinner a few weeks ago I'd mentioned that I'd love to fly with her sometime...and by "mentioned" I mean I begged and pleaded and tried to convince her to fly right then and there.  Much to my delight on Friday, Kim had decided it was a good day to go on a little flight and she extended the invitation to a handful of folks who had expressed interest in the past. Man oh man did I seize the chance. After clearing it with my boss (his response was "no big deal...have fun!"...dang I love my job) I was off on a Bay tour with Captain Kim and her sweet friend Katherine.

Kim was an awesome pilot; the ride was smooth and relaxing and beautiful from start to finish. I felt incredibly safe and content. Not that I really need to break down the symbolism here (you are a smartie pants group, after all) but it was amazing how on a day that I woke up feeling pretty "low" I was given a physical chance to be lifted; I was reminded that there truly are no certainties in life, only adventures...if you're willing to partake in them. I guess that's just another bonus of being a YES woman :) I can't wait to fly with her again!! Thank you, Kim!

In Gratitude,

Trish

I've always had my own thoughts and theories on love, but messages and lessons on this force that makes the world spin 'round seem to be following me everywhere these days.  Some are found in Tweets of folks I follow like Joyologist Tricia Huffman; "You more than anyone else in the world, are worthy of your own love. Adore who you are. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of acceptance." Others live in the new email blast I'm signed up for called The Daily Love (which rocks and is the best way I know to start my day).  Still others pop up in random quotes I see around town like "When you love someone you don’t need to be with them. Love is selfless. Love lets people be as they are whether it’s with us or not. And love lets us be who we are also. Love is happy for that person when they’re happy. Love is calm and patient."  I'm finding more and more resources to keep me trucking along as love-filled as possible and I'm super grateful for that.

But yesterday morning, after my daily doses of love from a variety of sources, I thought about the importance of not relying 100% on outside opinions, thoughts or even experts to fill my love tank. I thought about how the only way to really sustain the good-lovin' feelings was to be my own advocate of love; to be love in motion for myself and others. And then I thought but damn, that can be pretty hard to remember sometimes. It can be difficult to *feel* when I know what it's like to have love (affection, attention, appreciation) given, blessed upon me and then taken away on someone else's terms. I also know what it's like to be that person who loses the drive to continue sharing her heart with another being.  I'm not sure which side is more painful, actually.  Where is the in-between? The balance? Where is the space of love I wish to live in wholly, peacefully, gracefully?

So, to help remind myself on a daily basis that love already surrounds me right where I am (no matter where I am) and, more importantly, dwells strongly, faithfully, eternally within me always, I had a ring made on my lunch break by the cute little Asian man who sets up shop outside the Embarcadero Center and who made my "trish" necklace a few years ago.  Every time I glance down at my finger I'm reminded to try my best to always come from a loving and kind place--regardless of the scenario. I'm reminded that I wear love on the inside and out; that I am a manifestation of love and have the power to tap into it's vibrations whenever I choose. I'm reminded that it's OK for me to be alone right now...gulp, alone, scary word, yea?...because when I am in need of a dose of love I don't have to look any further than my own heart. It's OK to share it's love with myself. 

My little love ring is my new mindfulness reminder to keep holding space...safe, generous, accepting, authentic space...for love. Pretty solid $15 purchase, right?

Love and Light,

Trish