reviving the rev.

I swore it was only going to be a one time, "bucket list" thing. 

Then I did it again, and swore FOR REALZ, Y'ALL that was the last time.

Then I was asked once more and it immediately became clear: despite my nerves and self-doubts, I simply had to revive the Rev...

Officiating the wedding of my dear friends N & S was particularly important to me. First, they are part of my most dear friend group in SF. They have welcomed B with open arms from day one, and have not faltered in sharing heaps of laughter and joy with us. And most importantly, they had been waiting 16 years for our country to legally recognize their commitment to one another, which miraculously took place on the day before their wedding. It was pure magic, this timing, and grounds for that much more celebration to be had.

I've been wanting to write this post about their nuptials for approximately a month and a half, but couldn't help feeling as though there was something missing; a message, a quote, or tidbit of meaning. Something about the bigger picture of love, community, and relationship with God as it feels true in my heart. During our incredible trip to Iceland (more to come on that!) I found my missing piece.

One of our many wonderful, local guides told us about a tiny church located in Isafjordur, a lovely spot where we spent a few moments listening to beautiful Icelandic music as sung by a 19 year old parishioner. The particular sentiment that stuck with me came from the church's female priest (Iceland is extremely progressive in this way!) pertaining to a local issue. Apparently, a community of Islamists had been facing many roadblocks while petitioning to open a place of worship. In response, this priest told them that their Christian services took place two Sunday's a month, but otherwise the space was open to their needs, for as long as they needed. As Lisbet, our guide, told us, "We are here 2 times a month...God is here always. You are welcome to worship in our home."

For me, God dwells in this space. The space of community, oneness, and recognition of the expansive nature of love beyond four walls and a steeple. In a relationship, including a marriage, I see this dwelling to be most profound within the day to day; in our shared, ordinary need for love, understanding, compassion, and recognition (I see you, you are not alone)...and I really want my future babies to know this.

I want my future babies to know how deeply their mama supported civil rights. I may not have picketed or petitioned or marched during this time, but I sure as hell cast my vote for, and donated money towards, those who fiercely believed in this need for human acknowledgement, and acceptance.

And most importantly, I want my babies to know their mama jumped at the chance to join two exceptional souls in the legal union of marriage for the third time, even though she'd sworn she was retired from her Reverend days -- That she felt so honored to stand before a group of big hearted people and simply tell the love story of two very dear friends (their Uncles!) in the best way she knew how. That it was a blessing to think about God and humanity, partnership and commitment in these ways again, and that they should feel open to thinking about those things, too. I pray they live in a time where this is the most normal thing in the world.

And because she always says it far better than I could.....

"I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is always me and the solution is always me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless...." - Glennon Doyle Melton

A few iPhone snaps from the weekend....

It felt so good to revive the Rev....


...that I may just have to do it one more time {hint: stay tuned...}


In Gratitude,

Trish