on kindness.

I have this friend who is just so sweet. 

I genuinely mean that. Not sweet in that kind of "oh she's so nice" way of describing a girl's personality simply because you can't think of any other outstanding or flattering character compliments. She truly is just the sweetest, right to her core, and everyone says so immediately after meeting her.

So this sweet friend of mine, she's going through a challenging time. And the truth is, it's just the beginning of this challenging time. She knows it, I know it. It's the start of a lot of unsure and potentially scary days ahead; ones made up of guilt, sadness, excitement, worry, and hope bits and pieces, all mixed together, swirling to the surface at most inconvenient times.  But it's also an incredibly transformational time. A time of humble vulnerability and of embracing the unknown. And it's the first time, in a long time, where she is fully listening to her spirit and making choices to honor her best life possible. She's betting on herself, which is a worthy risk to take, though often frightening beyond words.

But this sweet friend of mine is also facing an additional layer of complications to this challenging time. You see, some of her family members aren't being very kind to her when she tells them "the news". Lots of fear projecting, doubtful questioning, and whatnot. We humans are so talented at that kind of reaction to "the news", aren't we?

It's really bringing my sweet friend down. My friend, who is always so supportive of others, and who never seeks to judge choices because of her heartfelt understanding that not always understanding does not = grounds for every unsolicited opinion.

If you couldn't tell, I'm kinda puffed up for my friend.

A few years ago I remember reading/seeing/hearing a random quote from Hilary Duff (sorryI'mnotsorry for enjoying a little celebrity smut in my life from time to time) that basically ended with a line that's lingered with me for years, and has resurfaced again from hearing about my friend's family difficulties:  We are just not kind enough to each other.

Taking Ms. Duff's lead, I want to impart one small piece of advice to the TGL community (because I know I'm the luckiest to have your attention for a moment). I want to say here what I'd like to say to her family but can't (annoying social norms and all that), so that this desire for a shift on behalf of challenging times can be put into the Universe somehow...

When someone you love feels he or she must make a very difficult decision in order to better themselves -- one that has been painfully, awkwardly, or hauntingly nagging at them for months, possibly even years -- think for a moment not so much on what you would personally do in their particular shoes (because darlings, you have no idea unless you magically, actually are) but rather of all the ways you yourself would hope, pray, and yearn to be shown compassion in the midst of a difficult decision. How much it would mean to you, for someone to listen without judgement; to offer no solutions, but an abundance of love.

That's really all anyone ever wants from our fellow man, you know? An abundance of love. 

The truth is: We don't always have to understand. And oh my, will we ever not understand. But we do, I think, have to try our hardest to remember kindness.

It's applicable everywhere, this kindness vibe. In all areas of life, a daily dose of this magic elixir has powerful healing benefits. For the parents of the screaming baby on your 6 hour flight, for your son who decides to quit his high paying job to travel the world, for the customer who asks so many annoying questions you should be billing extra, for your sister's recent break up from a guy you all really (finally) liked. Imagine what would happen to each of these folks if we were, simply, a little kinder to one another. 


In Gratitude,

Trish

 

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