love and light.

I've decided to start giving mini clues as to what my new life direction/decision/path (that I am soooo stoked about!) is.  Today we'll start with a few quick stories on the beauty and power of love and light that I've taken as my own little clues (and nudges?) from the Universe :)

Clue #1: A few months ago I was out on the town with a group of friends and coworkers celebrating the birthday of one of our favorites. The guy I was seeing at the time had promised to come and meet us out eventually, particularly to meet a close buddy of mine who was in town visiting. But, as was the pattern in this new relationship, the guy ended up bailing without even the courtesy of a heads up (i.e. he was simply a no-show). My disappointment kept growing as the night went on and eventually I desired to be anywhere but out in a crowded bar, pretending to be in a great mood.

As I was making my way out of the bar to hail a cab and head home (where I planned to crawl into bed and try to sleep away the funk and frustration) one of my coworkers grabbed my arm and said "Trish! Where are you going?! Don't leave!"

"Ugh, I'm just in a yucko mood now and I don't want to spoil all the fun for everyone else so I feel like I should probably just bow out", I replied.

"What? Why? What happened? Are you OK?"

"Yea, I'm fine, really...it's just the man slice...another round of frustrating broken promises. He was supposed to come out and meet {insert name of out of town visitor}, which I was so excited about and now he's MIA. I'm just sad, you know? It doesn't make me feel good."

My coworker then looked me dead in the eyes and said;

"No, don't let him make you feel that way. Don't be sad. You are such a light. You brighten the office and are always so positive to be around, it's awesome!...you're this little force...a great, happy person! Don't let him take that away from you, OK?"

Whoa. Definitely was not expecting that.

The thing is, I wouldn't say I'm very close with this particular person. I super care about and respect them, but we're not the type of buddies that will ever share heart to hearts on a regular basis. But hearing this come from him meant more to me than if I'd heard it from a best friend--I had no idea he saw me this way.

1) It was incredibly humbling and reassuring to know that my efforts to always remain positive at work weren't going unnoticed.

2) His kindness (and choice of words) is solid proof to me that sharing your light with others and choosing to be positive, to actively want others to be positive, is never a waste of time. 

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Clue #2:  A beautiful overseas relative of mine emailed me to say hello and fill me in on some struggles/heartache in her life the other day. She concluded her note (in her adorable English) with; I saw your photo...you are a real beauty and you look happy :)...Miss Sunshine.

Here's the truth: I don't always feel sunny. I don't always feel like a light. Some days, it is truly a fake it til you make it situation.  But as annoying as it may be to outsiders that I keep a mostly sunny disposition, I've found that it always serves me better in the end. And the very best way to keep feeling sunny inside, is to share sunny sentiments with others. To vocalize kindness. To give out love and compassion. So part of my reply to her simply stated: You are truly a beautiful, smart, fun, caring woman. In America we have an expression for a girl like you: we call you a "catch". That means anyone who dates you is super lucky to have found you. With time your heart will heal. Somehow it always does, even when it feels like it will never feel better. One day you'll wake up and it simply won't hurt as bad. Remember to have patience with yourself and don't get angry if you feel sad--you are allowed to feel sad! But also try and remember that life can still be very beautiful and full of joy.

Clue #3 (my favorite!!): I caught up with another beautiful friend of mine last month over dinner and I kid you not, the loving energy between us was electric. Don't you just love friend reunions like this? When it feels as if, no matter the time and distance between you, you haven't missed a beat? It's the most rad feeling ever! As she filled me in on the amazing space she is in--including recently finding the love of her life, woot!-- I felt compelled to reach across the table and touch her hand. Normally I would fight this kind of urge; I understand folks have varying degrees of personal space. But sitting across from her and welling up with genuine happiness for my friend I finally said, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to hold your hand for a minute while you keep talking. I am SO happy for you!" Then I held her hand while she smiled and said;

"I had dinner with you at Cafe Gratitude right before I left on my trip {where she met said love of her life}...and I really feel that you sent me off with such good energy that it opened me up to meeting my love there."

Can you think of a more amazing thing to hear someone say?

Can you also guess what I want to be when I grow up? :)

Love and Light,

Trish