ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

"So did you pack your lunch pail for your first day?!", B asked as I waited for the bus yesterday morning.

"No! I'm a bad mom to myself! Can I have some money to buy, instead?", I giggled in response.

"No. You'll just spend it on Nutter Butter's..."

For almost 3 years I have loved playing the role of Joyologist at Weebly HQ in San Francisco. I have loved planning events, working to boost company morale, camaraderie and overall employee wellness. I have loved watching this team grow from myself and 8 young men to myself and 14 young men...then outgrowing our tiny office into our current, beautiful space....then welcoming our second female hire...and still growing...growing...growing. I have loved it all, even when I didn't feel like I loved it.

But it was time. Time to explore my potential, my creativity, my skillset; time to spread my wings and move on...

To another role with Weebly!

Ha! Did I scare ya for a second there? As if I would actually leave Weebly...psshh. I'll be a barnacle on the wall they have to scrape off before I willingly leave this company. I'm one bad happy hour away from an orange W tattoo on my butt for pete's sake. Leave Weebly? You've been day drinking again.

I am going to admit something a little humbling to you, though: Yesterday, my first day not sitting up front, greeting everyone as they walked in, playing the Joyologist part I created and feel so comfortable in, was pretty weird.

Not good or bad. Just weird.

As I took my seat towards the back of our open floor plan, amongst a wonderful group of fellow Weeblies, I began to get the sinking feeling of shit. did I just make a huge mistake? I suddenly felt incredibly...small. Inexperienced. New. This was a jarring emotion to settle into--me, the chick who held her own amongst 14 boys for a year, suddenly felt like the new girl. I did not feel very brave about this change at.all. and let me tell you, I didn't like it one bit.

This is so weird, I texted to B as I peered out from behind my new computers, eying everyone as if I hadn't just seen them all the day before (or for the past 3 years). I feel so eerie! Like a big fat phony. A little kid at her dad's work.

Well at least you got your Nutter Butter in your Hello Kitty Lunch pail, he shot back in his typical jokes-can-be-supportive fashion...and these things take time. No rush.

Ah yes, time. The great equalizer, the one thing we cannot rush, even if we try.

One of my favorite TGL posts ever actually came from B just a few months ago, and is one in which he talks about what it's like to change careers, including taking a leap to feel fulfilled in your work. He essentially encourages us to go for it, and go for it wearing the biggest smile possible (a hard cheese, as he calls it). It takes hard work and commitment for sure. But it also takes a positive attitude. So, I put on my hard cheese at Weebly...which is really a place I am lucky to consider my second home already...and completed a full 45 minutes of Marketing pieces before needing to tend to Joyologist transition tasks. Phew. 45 minutes. The team may have glanced a time or two over to me with concerned looks at my odd cheese face (or maybe not, nothing I do surprises them at this point), but I dove into those 45 minutes with more passion and excitement than I've felt in a long time.

OK. It's time for a self pep talk. These are the facts: I hold a degree in Communications (concentration in Advertising and Public Relations). I have 3 years of "study" under my belt on all things Weebly; product, team, customers, goals. I really love to write. I'm pretty good at connecting. I believe in this company's mission. I have ideas. And I have the guts (gulp, most days) to see them through. Being on our Marketing team is a good fit...I can do this!

Yesterday I was reminded that, even in the most ideal scenarios, change can be f*cking uncomfortable. But it is also very, very necessary. It is the natural way of life and growth. And it's OK to feel f*cking uncomfortable in the midst of change. It's part of the process that keeps us, I believe, humble and earnest and open; it's part of the process we need to learn to trust most, as it includes our unique capabilities and talents. It includes the strength in who we authentically are and what makes us come alive. It includes our worthiness. (Note to self: you are worthy of this positive change)

Plus, it's not brave if we're not scared, right?

On to day 2....

Cheers to the cheese.

In Gratitude,

Trish

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