a letter to my 16 year old self.

Dear T,

The road ahead is twisty and turny.  It is sometimes rocky under your feet like the old gravel driveway leading up to the farm. It is also sometimes soft and dewy, like summer morning grass in the backyard by the swing-set; cushioned and protected by years of barefoot play.  It is filled with adventure and growth, laughter and tears.  You lead a big life.  A bold life. You lead an incredibly fortunate and blessed life.

You know those friends you have that seem so connected to you? You are right.  These are the keepers. These are the ones to continue to invest your time and love and energy into.  Continue to partner with them and I promise you beautiful years of laughter and support lie ahead.  New, wonderful friends are also waiting for you. The Universe has a handful of truly special people stashed in its back pocket, ready to play their cards exactly when you need them. With that in mind--be open. Closing yourself off is giving into fear and you, my darling, are not one to shy away at the first sign of nerves.

And you know those friends that some days you aren't too sure about?  You are right again.  Let them go.  Send them love and light, and release them. You've learned what you could and we are grateful for that.  You are brave enough to move forward without them.

Hug your 13 year old sister.  She is your greatest ally.

You will make some pretty painful mistakes over the next few years.  If I'm honest (and I really want to be honest with you), in many ways you will lose yourself. You will experience moments of deep regret, guilt, sadness and hurt.  You will feel the sting of a bruised ego as well as the ache of a broken heart.  You will question yourself a thousand times a day.  These are scary times.  These are times when not everyone will understand your decisions and even you will wonder if you have any idea what you're doing. Fact is, you probably don't.  Who really does?  You'll intermittently listen to your gut and ignore your gut. Sometimes the voice of *you* will scream so loud it sends vibrations down your spine and you will still ignore her. But I'm here to tell you two big things; 1. You are not broken--you will be OK. and 2. You learn. Man, do you learn.

Take a deep breath.  Be kind to others.  Your temper is a spark; use it for good and not for the fleeting and ugly satisfaction of retaliation or revenge.  Start choosing your words more carefully--a place of love is always the place to start. Always.

When a romantic relationship doesn't work out...and hunny, 99% of them won't...please remember that this is not a reflection of your worth.  Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know; we are all so complicated and different.  We all have our struggles.  Placing blame on them OR yourself will not do anyone any good.  It will serve you best to wish them well on their journey (even when you may want to curse them with anything but wellness...). Time is the great equalizer--though it is also the one thing you cannot rush.  Therefore, be present.  There is no need to dwell in the past, there is no guaranteed future; there is only right now.  In life you will take many risks.  As a result sometimes really great things will happen and sometimes really negative things will.  But if you don't take these risks, then nothing will happen--and that is far worse.  So try to remember not to close your heart off, no matter how many times it feels kicked to the pit of your stomach.  Try to remember to love as much as you possibly can.  If the train doesn't stop at your platform, it's simply not your train.

Do. Not. Stop. Dancing.

Those dreams and desires you mull over at night?  You still have them.  Pursue them. Give life to them. Never give up on them.

Sweet girl I'm so proud of you.  Praise and recognition make you terribly uncomfortable, I know this, but it's time you start embracing it.  You will continue to get stronger, even in your weakest moments. Stand tall, keep going. You are loving and lovable. 

Be brave. Be bold. Be excited for what is to come....I know I am.

Always,

Me.

ps- easy on the hair coloring, OK? You actually are pretty cute as a natural brunette...