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sister and the rev

I told myself after my first (wonderful) experience as "The Rev", that I would go out on a high note -- retire, if you will -- just to avoid any anxieties that naturally come along with this kind-of-a-big-deal public speaking opportunity. 

I told myself I had successfully checked it off the ol' life list, and from now on could stick to playing the role of dancing queen on wobbly heels at every subsequent wedding.

I told my ego don't worry! I'll never get your panties in a bunch like that again!

I told myself a lot of things. (what else is new?)

But then another cousin (I have 25!) whom I adore and consider a true friend, asked if I would do her the honor of joining her hand to her fiance's, and my spirit was too humbled and flattered to say no. I wholeheartedly approve of her now husband, and was touched to know another person could see me in this positive light. 

And, she did it over wine and pizza...so really my ego didn't stand a chance.

So I stood up as The Rev once again last weekend, in front of a room full of folks brought together to celebrate the magic of new adventures and connected hearts. I was fortunate to share a few swigs of a tasty vodka drink with sister and Frankito before hand, which helped to take the edge off a smidge.

(This was probably not a very 'Rev' thing to do, but whatevs. We didn't have holy wine, so I worked with what was available.)

And that ol' ego....oh mylanta. It sure was trippin all day.

Not necessarily nervous, per say, because nervous is just excitement without the breath. 

But tripping. Tripping over something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

And then I finally admitted to sister the morning of the wedding, lump in my throat as we climbed into her car, what had been silently concerning my soul: "What if....what if people see me up there and think, 'but she's divorced, what the hell could she possibly know about love and union?' What if people see me as a fraud?"

That would never happen, she quickly replied. If anything, you have experienced more life than most, and continue to love, no matter what.

Sister is good like that.

Because I do know a thing or two about love, and more important than that, I am a committed, devout student to the joy of continued love-education; always trying, failing, succeeding, learning, and even, sometimes, outright winning.

I know a thing or two about the importance of, as Amy P. says, continuing to share your heart.

And I know that in all aspects of life, other people's opinions may be relevant -- but they are not gospel.

So I wrote my cousin's ceremony with only 2 people in mind: the bride and groom. As long as they felt it honored their relationship, I could recite it with peace in my heart.

Peace, and maybe a few butterflies.

I closed my sermon with a simple, but sincere wish for the beautiful couple...

"Remember to Listen without agenda.

To Choose kindness.

To Hold safe, sacred space.

To Trust that time is always the great equalizer.

To Speak highly of one another, and to play often.

May this be the best day of your lives, but only the start of many best days to come.

And may you forever be married to amazement, together."

With Love and Light,

The Rev*


*who for REAL is retired this time.

**unless of course I love you and you ask nicely over pizza and wine.