31/52

OK, once again this is not a photo from last week, it's not even a photo at all, but I'm going somewhere with it (I think), so just bare with me, and enjoy a random giggle...

I love everything about this video.

"It's so good", at the end, is probably my favorite part.

Because this silliness, shared with my beloved cousin and friend at my 30th birthday party, is so good.

I've been forgetting this kind of good, lately. I've been working some things out in this here noggin of mine (never a good idea, amirite?) and I've been forgetting that I don't always have to have it all figured it out. I've been forgetting that worry is worthless -- like a prayer for what you don't want -- and I've invested too much time figuratively on my knees praying for just about everything I don't want.

But enjoying the company of ladies like Meg (which I did this weekend so HA, it basically is an appropriate "portrait of our life" entry), and being texted head banging dance videos by her boyfriend out of the blue, and having dinner with 2 other couples making me feel like a total, hip, city grown up, help me to remember, again.

Maybe that's really all life is: The endless cycle of getting caught up in the bullshit, while being led by fear and shame or guilt and pride, forgetting the great joys of being alive, the joys we've already experienced and innately know how to find again, only to then, finally, blessedly, remember. Remember who we are and what we are worthy of; remembering and feeling whole and happy and deeply grateful again. 

It only takes remembering, and anyone can do that. We remember the bad so easily -- the less than pleasant, the cringe worthy, and the not-so-proud of. Remembering can be painful, I know. We're the only creatures on earth who punish ourselves over and over for the same mistakes or cling to how we've been hurt as an awkward, clunky, badge of dis-honor. 

But this is how you find the good, too. In remembering.

So I guess we have to keep surrounding ourselves with silly cousins and keep performing hair thrashing dances for no one else's enjoyment but our own. And eventually, in the midst of our forgetting, someone will help you remember by sending you video proof that you know exactly what uninhibited, playful, joy looks like. That it's simple, a little ridiculous, and very much about not giving a flying f*ck what someone else might think of you while you do it. And that, most importantly, you should do it more often.

love and light,

Trish