22/52

Post red-eye sleepiness/puffiness aside, I love this photo of my baby sis and myself from last week.

After surprising me by taking off work and picking me up when I landed at the bright eyed hour of 6am, this little lady then started our day together with my favorite east coast brekkie of coffee and bagels. We spent the morning at the barn where she rides horses and I was fortunate enough to see her take a few laps around the ring. She's incredible to watch -- so smooth and natural on such powerful creatures. You can sense how deeply this passion has become a part of her very makeup, far beyond just a hobby, and I envy the peaceful energy she exudes as soon as she steps from the car onto the dirt.

If I'm honest, I was kind of a mess on this trip. One of my best friends is due with her first child (on my birthday!) and I cried no less than 4 times while hanging out with her. Just glancing at her perfectly pregnant belly sent me into a spin of lovey-dovey emotions, which is saying quite a lot since pregnant bellies typically weird me out. I cried 2-3 times during my trip with Jenny to Philadelphia for our beautiful Noodle's wedding, wanting to hug everyone in attendance regardless of whether I knew them or not (thankfully Jenny was a weepy mess, too -- criers love company, after all). I then fought to stifle tears when my darling Aubrey drove me to see the foundation of her new house being built out, because she would have laughed at me to see my crying and I was attempting to play it cool for once in our 20+ years of friendship. And then I even cried in the car with sister when I tried (and failed) to casually say how proud of her I am. I could barely get the words out, and it felt so important to say them because I am. So, so proud.

You guys -- I'm choking up again now just remembering all of these moments.

The thing is, there's something about spending time with folks from my non-California days that really hits me in my ultra soft spots. There's something about simply allowing myself to feel whatever is coming up in the most full, intense, and salty ways it wants. When I'm around these women, it feels so damn fulfilling...so safe, loving, and real... that I quite literally bubble up and over. How did I get so lucky?, I think. How do I hold these wonderful relationships, and the energy they give me, inside my heart and carry them with me everywhere? How do I make sure they never doubt my loyalty and commitment to their complete happiness, no matter what that looks like?

Seeing each of these beauties grow into strong women--starting families, growing families, following passions, building futures-- brings me much joy. It is an honor to be a part of their journeys, and a blessing to have them woven into mine. 

In short-- I think I happy-cried so much last weekend because, truthfully, I don't ever want to take these people for granted. I don't want to take any of it...my whole life...for granted. This is a life worth loving on both coasts (and everywhere in between and beyond), because it is so very alive.

Grateful hardly feels like the tip of iceberg some days, you know?

love and light,

Trish