15/52

santa barbara, ca. no filter.

Santa Barbara was lovely.  Warm and sunny, and surrounded by powerful women who love a good glass of wine, spirited conversation, and a dance party as much as I do. Fresh air, Lucy snuggles, and way too many calories. It's good to get away.

But also, it's good to be home. Waking up yesterday I was hit with a hefty mental laundry list of to-do's, need to's, want to's, really shoulds. I could feel the type A portion of my brain begin to panic as I calculated the available time this week to accomplish what I felt was necessary. Hint: it wasn't enough. IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. 

I'm often the person who waits til the breaking point. The one who compounds more commitments and obligations on top of an already teetering stack, most often for the sake of feeling guilty about 'no'. What could I do to be more proactive, instead of pushing the limits until my tank is empty? Let's start simple, I thought. So, I texted a friend with whom I had a scheduled lady date this week to simply say Friend, self care is needed. Reschedule, please and thank you? Not only did this buy me a whole night of catch up, but because of friend's encouraging reply with a side of "but we pick a new date right now", it made me feel reassured that oh goodness, honey, it's OK to say stop. The people who love you don't want your tank to be empty!

Great, I'm feeling lighter already. What else?, I thought.

Monday's are usually Game of Thrones night at Weebly. I LOVE GOT night. I love that folks wait a whole extra 24 hours to share in the mayhem that is Westeros together. I love that we cheer for the good guys, and boo hiss at the bad (so, so many bad). I always say it's the most silent hour ever spent in the office, each of us mesmerized by the glory that is HBO programming. But, I also did not feel up to staying too late at work. Decisions, decisions...

So, I messaged the crew with something along the lines of Friends, I cannot stay tonight, but am hopping downstairs to watch last night's episode early, if anyone wants to join. A few hours later, and our TV room was filled with friends not minding one little bit that our party started at a time that worked better for me.  **SPOILER ALERT** Eff you, Joffrey! Karma's a b*tch!

The point is, making time for self care doesn't have to be a big, well thought out thing. It doesn't have to be a source of guilt. And it doesn't have to take a back burner to the hustle bustle of life. It can be as simple as asking yourself what you really want and need in this moment, and then giving yourself permission...a blessing, even....to do just that.

love and light,

Trish